We talked to Brad, a graduate of EHN Bellwood Toronto’s hybrid Return-to-Wellness program, to find out how it helped him in his recovery from addiction.
Brad had everything: a successful career, a loving wife, and two sons. But he was also experiencing a growing addiction to alcohol.
He had been through therapy once before, but for him, virtual therapy wasn’t a consideration. How could talking to someone through a computer screen really work, he thought.
He was determined to recover—for his career, his family, and himself—which led him to EHN Bellwood Toronto’s Return to Wellness program. This hybrid program includes two weeks of in-person treatment followed by eight weeks of online therapy, which meant less time away from his work and young family.
We talked to Brad about how addiction shaped his and his family’s lives and his journey through treatment.
EHN Canada: What brought you to treatment?
BRAD: I’ll start from the very beginning. I am based in Toronto, born and raised in Markham, and I come from parents who immigrated to Canada from Jamaica. I’ve been married for…gosh, it’s been 10 years.
When I was maybe five years old, I witnessed a very traumatic event. My grandmother had committed suicide. I remember the paramedics arriving. I remember the funeral home staff coming and taking the body away, a very traumatic event when you are five years old.
I remember seeing a child psychologist. My mother said I had nightmares after my grandmother passed away. I don’t think it was very talked about. Mental health wasn’t really a thing back then. It was suck it up, pull up the bootstraps and move on, right?
EHN Canada: What led you to treatment as an adult after not having the best experience as a child?
BRAD: In 2017, I woke up to the news that my brother-in-law and best friend passed away suddenly from a drug overdose. That really led to my alcohol consumption. I had a newborn at the time, and he was six months when my friend passed away. The year after, my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. By now, I’m probably drinking either every day or every other day, and then COVID happens. Everyone is at home and we’re expecting another child.
EHN Canada: How did you come across EHN Canada’s Return to Wellness program?
BRAD: The Return to Wellness program piqued my interest because it’s two weeks in, eight weeks out. And it was close to home. Those are the three things that kind of met my needs at the time.
EHN Canada: What was your inpatient experience like?
BRAD: The two weeks in, I was terrified. Checking in, I had no expectation of what it was going to be like. I knew they were going to take my phone away, but I would have access to a tablet that I could still video call my children, and they could visit on Sundays.
I cried the night before [I began treatment], but my comfort level increased in a short period of time. I think knowing that some of the staff were actual patients too or in recovery helped as well because they understood.
EHN Canada: And how did you find virtual treatment component?
BRAD: I was thinking about how I was going to handle real life. Outside of that, I was going back home to my kids and wife, and I also had therapy two to four times a week.
It created a safe place to communicate, even though I was at home. I really liked the structure of an assigned facilitator each week. I relied on the group therapy that I was doing Monday to Thursday, as well as the one-on-one therapist that I was assigned each week. She made me get emotional and got something out of me my very first session that no one else has. I’ve never really experienced this kind of connection with a therapist before. And I was like, “This is different.” I also relied heavily on my family.
EHN Canada: How did you feel about being exposed alcohol when you went back home after inpatient treatment?
BRAD: There were points where I was like “I want to drink.” I would ask my wife, “Should we sit on the patio and have a drink?” She’d say, “No, you’re not allowed.” You try to rely on those tools to distract yourself in that moment and just prolong it.
I think it changed for me when I went in before virtual because it’s only two hours a day for four days a week. Is that really enough time and hours to change? But I think as time went on, I realized I wasn’t drinking.
It’s really on the individual to do the work and when you’re living in the moment it’s hard to “do this DBT skill,” for example.
It changed because the therapist I had, worked for me and it’s the first time they did. It’s also the first time I did group therapy. When I shared a story or shared something, it was really helping me more than anyone else. Even if I don’t share, I feel a lot better after. Going to the gym sucks before you go and then it’s great after you leave, right? That’s how I feel about therapy.
EHN Canada: Did your family take advantage of the Family Support Program included with your treatment?
BRAD: My mom was leading the charge with the application, and she found out there would be family education support. My wife, my sister, and my mom actually signed up for it. I think in the fourth week or third week I was out they joined a two-day therapy session. One of the biggest takeaways was that my support team – my sister, my mom, and my wife were going through recovery as well.
EHN Canada: What is one thing that you really took away from virtual treatment?
BRAD: I think one of the biggest takeaways from virtual is that it can happen. People can get better virtually, depending on your situation. Each person is different, each situation is different, but there is the option.
When I checked in, I was in the mindset of, OK, I’m going to go in, get myself fixed and I’m going to detach myself from this world forever. But I think the community is really important, and something I have to keep trying to give back to.
I want to live. Be around for my boys. I want to be around for my wife and I’m not going to let my addiction take me down.
EHN Canada: How has your life changed from before going in for treatment all the way to talking to us today?
BRAD: Addiction is a disease, so that’s one thing I’ve come to terms with. Gratefulness has been a big thing, so I think that’s one of the big takeaways I have in this experience.
I think that I want to live. Be around for my boys. I want to be around for my wife and I’m not going to let work or life events and my addiction take me down. It’s just changing my mindset. I have everything I need to be happy.
To learn more about the Return to Wellness program or if you feel like you need help, click here, contact us by phone 1-866-963-6343 or fill out a form.
